ANOTHER RE-WRITE...

Some days I just can't seem to draw. But that's ok, because it gives me the chance to tweak my story. I've taken (hurrr hurrr, my book's called the takers) yet more lines from it, leaving me with a word count of 572. This will make my pages look a lot better. Also, I've completely changed some elements. Hopefully my drawing super powers will return after dinner because I really need to crack on. Also, as summarised in my facebook post...

"I just changed every 'It's not right' line in my vegan kiddies book to 'there's no need'. I think this subtle change highlights the difference between preaching and educating. 

The former phrase tells the individual (or monster) that what they're doing is wrong, and will likely make them become immediately defensive, and therefore unreceptive to any information you put to them. The latter phrase comes across like you're sharing a wonderful revelation. There's no *need*. Did you know there's no *need*? We don't *need* to do this! ISN'T THAT GREAT!? WE CAN LIVE WITHOUT CAUSING HARM! HOORAY!"

The Takers

In a world much like ours, only hidden from view,

Live the creatures that we call the takers, who knew?

The takers take creatures  to use as they please

From the elephant-mice to the scorpion-bees.

A young taker was saddened by such selfish deeds,

So she asked adult takers just what was the need.

She approached a great beast that was chomping away,

And she said just what she’d always wanted to say.

“Excuse me?” Said the girl, “All this food here is fresh.”

“There’s no need to take creatures to chomp on their flesh.”

“No no no!” He replied “You just don’t understand,”

“We’re the takers who take, and we take what we can.”

The next taker took creatures that used to be free

And he kept them in cages for takers to see.

“Excuse me…” Said the girl, “All these creatures seem blue.”

“There’s no need to keep creatures locked up in a zoo.”

“No no no” He replied, “You just don’t understand”

“We’re the takers who take, and we take what we can.”

Next she spoke to a taker, who used creatures’ skins,

As clothing and shoes and all kinds of strange things.

“Excuse me?” Said the girl, standing on tippy-toes,

“There’s no need to use creatures to make things like clothes.”

“No no no!” She replied “You just don’t understand”

“We’re the takers who take and we take what we can”

The next taker she saw had a science-y mind,

He did tests on small creatures to help his own kind.

“Excuse me?” Said the girl, “It’s so easy to see”

“There’s no need to hurt others to help you and me.”

 “No no no!” He replied “You just don’t understand”

“We’re the takers who take and we take what we can”

So she made her way home, feeling angry and glum,

She stormed into her house and she said to her mum.

“I can’t see how it’s right; I can’t see how it’s fair.”

“There’s no need to use creatures at all!” She declared.

“No no no.” Her mum said “You just don’t understand.”

“We’re the takers who…” “STOP!” Came the young girl’s demand.

“I have spoken to others who say just the same,”

So she sat with her mum and she tried to explain.

Meanwhile other takers were thinking things through,

Was their taking of creatures the right thing to do?

The great beast that was chomping on flesh and on bones,

And the woman who used creature’s skins as her own.

The man who kept creatures in cages for zoos,

And the science-y man began wondering too.

“We’re the takers who take, but we’ve taken too much”

“With our self-centred ways we’ve begun to lose touch.”

Knock, knock, knock came the sound on the young takers door,

It surprised her to see the takers from before.

“Little girl you were right, now we all understand.”

“It’s not right to use creatures just ‘cause we all can.”

“They have rights of their own and deserve to be free.”

“Not one creature exists just to serve you and me.”

So the girl and the takers decided that day,

To stand up for all creatures in every way.

They’d adopt homeless creatures and live cruelty-free,

And they’d educate others, just like you and me.

When they’d talk to new takers they’d start with the phrase,

“We were takers who took, but now things have to change.”